What Is the ‘Sure You Can’ Pattern and Why Mother and father Are Apprehensive

Mother and father of younger women are elevating purple flags concerning the “Sure You Can” pattern popping up on TikTok. In actual fact, one mother is urging dad and mom to cease scrolling and listen. She says that whereas the posts are disguised as lady empowerment, they’re really one thing rather more sinister—and the psychological well being professionals we spoke with agree.

“The ‘Sure You Can’ pattern is refined digital grooming disguised as lady empowerment,” says Noelani Sagapolutele, LCSW, founding father of Waʻa Collective and college social employee with the Hawaiʻi State Division of Training. “It makes use of affirming ‘sure you may’ language to normalize harmful behaviors like sneaking out at 2 a.m. to satisfy older males, moving into strangers’ vehicles, sending inappropriate images, and dismissing parental steerage.”

This is what you’ll want to find out about this new TikTok pattern and what you are able to do about it.

What Is the ‘Sure You Can’ TikTok Pattern and Why Is It So Alarming?

Teenagers on TikTok are utilizing a viral audio clip of a tune with the lyrics “Sure you may,” whereas principally women add textual content overlays with variations like “I can not date a 2007,” implying that another person is saying the particular person born in that yr is simply too younger for them so far. The teenager then lip syncs “sure you may” and nods alongside within the video, as if pushing again in opposition to objection. A number of the delivery years proven are as latest as 2012—suggesting, alarmingly, that it is OK so far somebody as younger as 13.

These movies are meant encourage others to push boundaries, says Tessa Stuckey, MA, LPC, a therapist and writer of For the Sake of Our Youth. “However dangerously blur the strains between confidence and recklessness. It’s unclear the place [this trend] began, however like many traits, it unfold shortly by viral soundbites and peer mimicry.”

The ‘Sure You Can’ pattern additionally brings a excessive degree of threat, together with the opportunity of on-line sexual solicitation, says Diane Lampkins, LSW, youngster abuse prevention coordinator at The Heart for Household Security and Therapeutic at Nationwide Youngsters’s Hospital.

“Any time there’s a marketing campaign geared toward glamorizing dangerous behaviors that confuses [a young person’s] intestine intuition in a truth-or-dare…trend, we ought to be involved,” says Lampkins. “Younger folks could have issue assessing the hazard or threat of a problem, particularly in the event that they see a good friend posting, or reposting, comparable content material.”

Plus, it weaponizes empowerment language to bypass teenagers’ pure security instincts, says Sagapolutele. When women hear these messages, their growing brains course of this as validation, quite than recognizing it as grooming, she says.

How Predators Might Be Exploiting This Pattern 

These movies may additionally unknowingly exposing younger women to predators or adults with nefarious intentions. One involved TikToker highlighted how adults are following this content material—and even commenting on it.

“Lots of these strangers aren’t simply scrolling—they’re actively searching for out content material that includes younger women,” says Anamara Ritt-Olson, PhD, an affiliate professor within the Division of Well being, Society, & Habits at UC Irvine’s Joe C. Wen College of Inhabitants & Public Well being. “Some depart inappropriate feedback or save the movies to share elsewhere. Even when children suppose they’re simply having enjoyable, their posts can appeal to harmful consideration from adults with dangerous intentions, turning a seemingly harmless pattern right into a severe security threat.”

Consultants say these feedback and encouragement are a type of grooming. “This aligns completely with documented grooming patterns the place predators give youngsters the phantasm of management whereas manipulating them towards exploitation,” says Sagapolutele. “It is ‘reverse psychology’ grooming at scale.”

In response to Sagapolutele, trendy grooming ways more and more exploit tweens’ and teenagers’ pure need for empowerment and independence, making harmful behaviors seem as expressions of non-public company and maturity. “The pattern helps establish susceptible targets, normalizes dangerous interactions with older people, and creates communities the place boundary-pushing habits is well known.”

Psychological Affect on Younger Ladies

Like all adolescents, younger women crave belonging and identification, says Shari B. Kaplan, LCSW, an integrative trauma specialist and founding father of Cannectd Wellness. In a digital world the place likes and views are seen as validation, traits like this prey on that want, she says.

“Collaborating could really feel like empowerment to them as a result of they’re in command of doing one thing ‘adult-like’ and unbiased, exerting their feminine self,” says Kaplan. “However in actuality, it is typically masking deeper emotions of powerlessness, and a necessity for acknowledgment that they’re worthy of connection.”

This will create a false sense of belonging and result in a way of worthiness, says Kaplan. In the meantime, if their friends are difficult them with ‘Sure You Can’ posts, younger women could really feel pressured to show their independence or maturity by doing issues that would result in trauma, exploitation, or long-term psychological well being penalties, provides Stuckey. “It glorifies insurrection whereas ignoring real-world security and emotional fallout.”

As soon as it’s all stated and achieved, they might endure psychologically, even when they continue to be secure from bodily hurt, says Kaplan. “Within the aftermath of posting their dangerous behaviors, they might expertise disgrace, confusion round self-identity, and disorientation round self-boundaries, and belief in self and others.”

Suggestions for Dealing With This Pattern And Others Like It

Traits like these speed up unsafe behaviors, create digital footprints that may hang-out children later, and open the door to predators, says Stuckey. There must be stronger platform moderation and proactive digital literacy training at house and in colleges. She presents the following pointers for navigating TikTok and its tendency towards harmful traits and challenges:

• Begin with curiosity. Ask your youngster what they’ve seen, the way it makes them really feel, and in the event that they’ve ever felt pressured to hitch in.
• Clarify how predators use traits. Assist them perceive that not everybody on-line has good intentions—and that grooming typically begins by “innocent” encouragement.
• Hold units in shared areas. Keep away from whole surveillance, however promote transparency and device-free zones.
• Mannequin wholesome digital habits. Have open conversations explaining why you set boundaries and the way you utilize your units deliberately.
• Reinforce their actual price. Reward their crucial pondering, empathy, and braveness to reject unhealthy traits.
• Train your youngster the three-second rule. If one thing makes them pause, really feel bizarre, or query it, don’t have interaction—shut the app and discuss to somebody about it.
• Hold the dialog going. It isn’t one massive “discuss,” however many small ones.
• Train them what true empowerment seems like. Empowerment comes from self-worth, security, and powerful values. Ladies usually tend to reject poisonous traits after they know what genuine empowerment seems like.

“There’s a vital distinction between ‘Sure You Can’ and ‘Sure You Ought to,'” she says. “This pattern teaches women to equate functionality with decision-making—however actual empowerment is about figuring out when to say no, even whenever you technically can say sure.”

Steps You Can Take to Defend Your Children 

Protecting children secure on TikTok requires a complete strategy, says Sagapolutele. Use the platform’s Household Pairing options, together with day by day display cut-off dates, Restricted Mode content material filtering, computerized direct message controls for customers 13 to fifteen, and privateness settings that default to non-public accounts for customers below 16.

She additionally suggests combining these technical options with ongoing communication.
“Search for particular behavioral warning indicators, together with sudden secrecy about on-line actions, temper modifications after gadget use, sleep disruption, declining tutorial efficiency, and withdrawal from household actions. For content material purple flags, acknowledge that harmful traits now embrace empowerment-disguised content material that seems constructive however encourages dangerous habits.”

Additionally, concentrate on sustaining open communication the place your teen feels secure sharing their on-line experiences; and create a household media plan that ensures social media would not crowd out important actions like sleep, bodily exercise, and face-to-face relationships, says Sagapolutele.

“Most significantly, assist teenagers perceive that their growing brains make them notably susceptible to manipulative content material, and that asking for steerage reveals energy, not weak point,” she says. “The important thing message I would like dad and mom to know is that this is not simply one other ‘harmful problem’. It is a refined type of manipulation.”